it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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