I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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