No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
love makes seman taste better
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
