listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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