I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
