i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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