i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
