so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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