i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
