I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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