kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
