She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
