I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I could make wine with my vomit
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize