Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
