We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize