If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
