you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
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I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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