Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize
