I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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