Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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