The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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