Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
