Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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