Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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