I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
