Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
