i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Rumble strips road head = magical
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
