pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
