I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
