i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
