it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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