Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
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