flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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