I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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