He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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