24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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