your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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