it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
