Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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