This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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