Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
