Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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