38 yer olds are good kisserssss
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
