Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
