drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
farters have to be the big spoon...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize