Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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