You can't special order awesome
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
