I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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