so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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