We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
