i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
