Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
