Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
